


There Was So Much Bread

by Mercury_777



Series: All the MerHartWin [6]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Drunk Eggsy, Drunken Cuteness, Fluff, Jealous!Harry, M/M, Merlin is a man of few words, Multi, and it's about bread, eggsy is a happy drunk, flirty!eggsy, longest story in this series so far, merlin and harry had to cancel to kick ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7615837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercury_777/pseuds/Mercury_777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it. </p>
<p>I'm really sorry that this took so long I had shit to do and then I had a long thing of writer's block, but it's here, it's queer, and it's ready to get read. (That was weird. I'm sorry.) I was going to name this There's a Reason These Table's Are Numbered You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet, but I decided to spare you. Did you read the tags? They're funny (no they aren't, but my brain at 1 in the morning thought they were). </p>
<p>I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I tried really hard to find them, but I edited it not a beta. I'm also really sorry that Eggsy's accent sucks. Accents are hard. Whose gonna try harder at his accent next time? This guy. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Haha. You thought I was done. You thought I wasn't going to ask for comments and suggestions for stories or ideas. You thought wrong. I live off them. I am needy for them.</p></blockquote>





	There Was So Much Bread

    Tie straight? Check.

    Pocket Square properly folded? Check.

    Shoes shined? Check.

    Whole picture looking hot as fuck? Check.

    Eggsy grinned at himself in the mirror and smoothed out his jacket. His dark navy jacket and black bow tie made him look very dapper. So dapper that he took about twenty pictures of himself to send to Merlin and Harry to make them as excited as he was. Harry and Merlin were taking Eggsy to a restaurant that had only opened a few days ago. Roxy had gone on opening night and talked about it for hours with Eggsy on the phone, and Eggsy knew that if Roxy went on about anything like that it had to be spectacular.

    Eggsy’s phone alerted him that his car was here with a ding. He checked over himself one last time and then hurried downstairs to catch his ride to Taigh-bìdh. The blonde walked casually to his car and like that he was off.

   The restaurant was much fancier than Eggsy could have ever imagined. The exterior was made from beautiful, gray river stone illuminated by dimmed white lights. The interior was a giant hall painted the same color as the stone outside. The tables were evenly spaced throughout the room blanketed in ivory tablecloths with lilac napkins sitting on them.

    “Hello. How may I help you?” Eggsy was snapped out of his little daze by the pleasant woman behind the hostess podium.

    “I’m here-” The woman cut him off.

    “Oh you must be here to interview for the dish washing job. I don’t know why you’re all dressed up. The position isn’t that serious.” She laughed.

    “Um...No actually. I have a reservation here. Well, it’s under my boyfriend’s name. It’s for a party of three under the name Harry Hart.” Eggsy was slightly taken aback by her comment about him. Her smile faded and she looked down at the menu.

    “Oh. Yes, here it is.” She waved over a waiter standing to the side. “And when will the other two be joining you?” The waiter walked over, took one look at Eggsy and let out a soft snort.

    “They’ll be here in ten minute or so.” Eggsy had to keep himself from crossing his arms and using some very colorful language towards the snarky waiter. The lady nodded and Eggsy was lead to his beautiful table. He sat down and the waiter placed a napkin on his lap.

    "Would you like a drink now or would you like to wait for the others.” The waiter asked with a sneer in his voice. Eggsy bit his tongue and ignored the waiter’s tone.

    “I’ll take a glass of water and once my partners’ get here we’ll order. Thanks.” He curtly dismissed the waiter and looked down to his menu to look at the food options.

   With his face still cast down at the menu he raised his eyes to look around the room. There was nothing special just six couples enjoying a date night, a table of five businessmen slowly getting drunk instead of discussing work, and trio of 40-something women whispering to each other and glancing in Eggsy’s direction. Eggsy looked back down at his menu and felt himself grow hungrier.

    “Your water.” The waiter put down Eggsy’s glass and left without a glance or word to Eggsy. He picked up his glass and took a small sip.

_“Lad.”_ Eggsy blinked in surprise from the voice that rang out from his glasses.

    “Merlin.” Eggsy sat his glass down and picked up his napkin to dry the nonexistent water droplets from his lip before continuing. “Why are you and Harry not here enjoying delicious looking food with an equally delicious boy?”

_“You’re humbleness is as charming as ever.”_ Harry rang out followed by a pained grunt. Eggsy brought the napkin down from his face.

_“All though Harry and I would much rather be there with you, it looks like we’ll be stuck here until further notice.”_ Merlin continued this time more strained and a bit louder. Eggsy sighed swirled his water and took a sip.

    “Begrudgingly understood.” There was no response. If Merlin and Harry hadn’t been the most skilled agents in all of Kingsman, Eggsy might have been worried by the lack of response. Instead he returned his attention back to the menu and decided that he would get the grilled salmon and roast potatoes in a light herb sauce. Another glass was placed in front of Eggsy.

    “I didn’t order that, bruv.” He looked to the waiter who rolled his eyes.

    “I know _you_ didn’t order it. The ladies at that table ordered it for you.” The waiter gestured to the trio of women, then walked off. Eggsy looked over to them and picked up his drink, he nodded his head and took a sip in appreciation. The women laughed quietly to each other and ogled Eggsy. The whiskey went down surprisingly smooth and didn’t burn the back of Eggsy’s throat like the kind at Harry’s house did. He put the glass back down on the table and smiled at the women.

_Posh blokes always do fancy a bit of rough._

    A few minutes passed before the waiter came back to Eggsy’s table with a basket of delicious smelling bread that made his stomach rumble softly, a glass of wine, and a note.

    “This is from the table of gentleman.” The waiter gestured to the table of businessmen and took Eggsy’s empty whiskey glass. Eggsy was not used to this kind of treatment, sure people had bought him a couple of drinks and the pub before, but nothing like this. He opened the letter and read the cursory writing.

    Because your lovely self deserves better than just a glass of whiskey. -The man in the middle. Eggsy looked at the table of men an smiled at the man in the middle. He picked up a piece of the bread, tore a smaller piece off, and popped it into his mouth. The soft, fluffy roll was perfectly warm and nearly made Eggsy’s rumbling stomach jump for joy. He looked back tot the man in the middle and winked while finishing off the last of the roll. The man tipped his glass to Eggsy and winked back.

    Eggsy heard an aggravated sigh from the table of women and when he looked over them he saw the ladies glaring at the table of men. He snickered to himself and took a sip of the wine, then another sip, then another, until the wine was gone. The whiskey on it’s own wasn’t enough to make Eggsy tipsy, the wine wasn’t either, but the whiskey and wine together made Eggsy’s head start to swim. He didn’t see this as a problem though, he’d just eat more bread until Harry and Merlin got there and then he would eat a large entree and everything would be fine.

    Two bottles of red wine and two glasses were placed in front of the blonde. He looked to the waiter and started to shake his head.

    “I really shouldn’t drink these, bruv.” The waiter smirked and bent down to Eggsy’s seated height.

    “It’s very impolite to refuse.” Eggsy had to keep himself from gaping at the bottles of wine, he really shouldn’t have anymore. Harry would be especially disappointed in him if he got drunk in public. But, he couldn’t just let them sit there either. Sighing in defeat Eggsy popped one of the bottles open and poured himself a glass.

    Sober Eggsy knew that he shouldn’t have even opened the bottles let alone drink two glasses from each, but Drunk Eggsy didn’t give a two shits about what Sober Eggsy thought. Drunk Eggsy was too busy winking at the man in the middle. (He would be winking at the women too, but they left twenty minutes ago after giving Eggsy each of their numbers.)

    One and a half hours later Eggsy had finished the bread and half of each bottle of wine and he felt amazing.

_"Lad, we’re heading to the restaurant now to pick you up."_   Eggsy nearly shit himself at the voice that suddenly rang through his brain.

    “Fuck Merlin, ya ‘bout gave me a heart attack.” Eggsy slurred out causing a long silence on the other end.

_"My darling boy… Are you drunk?"_ Harry chuckled softly. Eggsy started giggle loudly and muffled it with his arm.

_"We’ll be there in a few minutes, Lad. Pay for whatever you bought and we’ll be there in ten minutes or so."_

    “Don’t have to pay nothin’. A bloke and some ladies paid for everything I had.”

_"Hmm."_   Eggsy heard Harry hum, most likely in jealousy that he would never admit to. Eggsy got out of his seat and did his best to walk straight to the door, only stopping when the man in the middle slipped his number into Eggsy’s back pocket.

    The blonde continued his stumble to the front door and walked out onto the pavement. His car sat a few feet down the road, Harry was leaning up against the back and smiled when he saw Eggsy.

    “Did you have a good time?” Eggsy grinned and nodded, then raised to his tiptoes and pressed a sloppy kiss to Harry’s lips. “You should get in the car. I’m afraid you’ll fall over.” Eggsy rolled his eyes and stumbled to door. He pulled it open and fell in next to Merlin.

    “Hey, Merlin.” Eggsy said smirking. Merlin looked to the intoxicated young man with amusement.

    “Hello, L-” He was cut off by Eggsy kissing him hard on the mouth. He chuckled softly into the kiss when Eggsy straddled Merlin’s lap. The car door opened.

    “I’m gone for two minutes and you’re taking advantage of Eggsy. Shame on you, Merlin.” Harry sat down next to the pair. Merlin pulled away from Eggsy causing the blonde to whine. Eggsy flopped over so that his legs were in Merlin’s lap and his Head was in Harry’s. Harry ran his fingers softly through Eggsy’s hair.

    “I take it you had a good time even if we weren’t there.” Eggsy laughed and nodded.

    “I got four numbers, booze, and bread.” Eggsy stared up at the ceiling of the car. “There was so much bread.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> I'm really sorry that this took so long I had shit to do and then I had a long thing of writer's block, but it's here, it's queer, and it's ready to get read. (That was weird. I'm sorry.) I was going to name this There's a Reason These Table's Are Numbered You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet, but I decided to spare you. Did you read the tags? They're funny (no they aren't, but my brain at 1 in the morning thought they were). 
> 
> I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. I tried really hard to find them, but I edited it not a beta. I'm also really sorry that Eggsy's accent sucks. Accents are hard. Whose gonna try harder at his accent next time? This guy. 
> 
>  
> 
> Haha. You thought I was done. You thought I wasn't going to ask for comments and suggestions for stories or ideas. You thought wrong. I live off them. I am needy for them.


End file.
